Life Focus with Julie

Ladies, Feeling Low on Confidence?

2011-07-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

We all face challenges and wonder if we can succeed at something new. As long as we believe that we cannot do something, we are right. No matter how hard we try, the belief wins every time.

Because of this negative belief, a lack of confidence quickly moves in. Why are there so many successful, intelligent women who struggle with confidence in different areas of their life? Has our world created a false, unrealistic image of what we are supposed to look like and act like?

A woman with low confidence is plagued with self-doubt, can be double-minded, and indecisive. Low confidence can undermine what a woman does, feels and decides and worse of all it prevents her from reaching her true potential.

Some tips to help build confidence;

Stop the negative self talk, it can become a habit which causes low self esteem and unhappiness and is very rarely true. Change those “I’m not good enough” thoughts to “I am just as able as anyone else, probably better”.

Saying NO and only no, you don’t always need to explain yourself.

Confident people make it a habit to think and act positively. The flow on effects of being, doing and feeling confident creates harmony, health and fun in your life; allow us to accomplish much more out of life.

Act the way you want to be and the way you want to be seen. Take note of your posture, your dress, how you treat others and yourself. Smile and look confident, before long you will be feeling more confident. Sometimes you just need to believe it to achieve it.

Fake it till you make it

Give yourself permission to be different and unique. Give yourself permission that it’s OK to be wrong and make mistakes – it’s how we learn and transition through life.

Write a positive affirmation and say it daily to yourself such as:. I know that I can master anything or I am capable and strong or I trust in myself

Coaching:

This week pay attention to how you feel about yourself. Whatever you believe is showing up in your life. If you want to change your life, change your beliefs about what you can and cannot do.

Quote:

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” – Author Unknown

Transition for Professional Women

2011-06-27T22:10:00.000-07:00

For many Professional Women the obvious transitions we experience are our within our career, our workplace and the part we play in them. Within the work environment the transitions of Profession Women include that of re-entering the work force, perhaps after having raised a family and taking some time away from paid work, changing career paths, promotions, further study, surviving in a male dominated working environment and finally retirement.

These transitions alone can cause much overwhelm and exhaustion which can lead to poor health, stress and low energy levels.Women in the working environment need to juggle many hats to stay on top of life. They can find themselves being pulled in many directions by children, partners, work colleagues, parents, siblings and even committees and other interests they may have.

So many transitions both inside and outside the work environment can greatly impact on our health, our confidence and our time in a negative way if allowed to go unchecked. Dealing with changing relationships, needing to relocate, maintaining our financial affairs, coping with body issues, coping with growing children and aging parents all leaves very little time to deal with your self! Change is not something that happens now and again, it is a way of life. Just as we think things are getting back to normal, we come face to face with the next change; stability seems to be a thing of the past.

As individual and unique as each of my clients are, many women who come to me for coaching have similar concerns and goals. A great tool for overworked professional women is the ability to use and maintain a diary and to-do list - do it daily and do it well. Understanding the importance of scheduling in me-time and being able to set and stick to time limits both in and outside working hours can greatly lessen stress levels.

You cannot be everything to everyone if you are running on empty so be aware of maintaining good eating and exercise habits as well as scheduling in time for fun, pampering, creativity and play each week.

Coaching Questions;

How does your work contribute to your life goals?

Are you in a career that you always dreamed of?

What would you like more time to do?

Quote:

Yes, there are many things that need to get done, but in this moment I have to do nothing.

—Oprah Winfrey

Changes can be challenging

2011-06-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

We can deeply desire a change, but when we sit back and look at it we can feel overwhelmed and disillusioned. We are not alone, this happens to everyone at some time or another. We see achievements others have made in their career, fitness, finance or other areas of their life and feel in awe. What we don’t see is how the goal took shape and what needed to occur during the journey. We don’t see the time spent, the obstacles overtaken, the heartbreak and disillusionment along the way, the number of times the goal may have been given up on or re-designed, plenty of these hiccups can occur along the way. It is most uncommon for a goal to fall into place without any angst at all and it is a good thing too as it is the journeys that can make the finished outcome have stronger results and be more rewarding.

How do you climb a mountain, eat an elephant or build a wall? By taking one step, one bite or one brick at a time! You can either do it on your own, or with a little help. The first step is to decide on what you want, what you want to change or what you’d like to achieve. Now break it down into small achievable steps and decide when you want to finish by and begin with baby steps, one step at a time.

Staying motivated can be a tricky obstacle in the process, so if your not working with a coach, tell someone else what you are doing so they can check in on you to see how you are progressing. It is important to be kind to yourself and reward yourself along the way, as you make progress and achieve the small steps – it doesn’t matter how small they may be as they are all important steps in the big picture. Be honest with yourself and don’t worry if you need to reassess your goal or change your finish time. The important thing is that you are making progress and change is happening.

Remember with many challenges, we need persistence, consistence and patience.

Quote:

"In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins - not through strength, but through persistence." Anonymous

Coaching tip:

What is a small action step you can take this week, towards achieving your goal? If your goal is to loose weight, list 3 things you can change in your week such as walk 30 minutes each day, cut out sweets from your diet, drink more water, write a food journal, and do at least one thing this week to get started.

Female Midlife Crisis

2011-05-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

Midlife Crisis is usually associated with men, but did you know that women are just as likely to experience a midlife crisis? Did you also know that men and women who lead a purpose filled and fulfilling life, and are able to meet their own needs as well as their partners are less likely to experience a midlife crisis?

If a man works long hours, spends most of his free time with his family and doesn’t pursue his own interests he is a sitting duck and is in danger of going through the MLC?

Men get to a certain age and feel that life is passing them by. They can become fearful of aging, of becoming ill and less attractive to the opposite sex. They also are feeling that goals they have set just may never happen and death is not so far off anymore!

If a woman spends her days taking care of the kids, the house, the cooking and cleaning – putting everyone else’s needs before her own, and has no outside interest she also is in danger of the MLC. Women though, on the other hand find themselves at a certain age and realise they finally have the opportunity to do the things they have been putting off whilst taking care of the family. They see the kids have grown and they now have more time and more financial security to do the things they’ve been putting on hold. Experiencing the change of life can also cause her to question how she has lived her life and help her decide whether she should make the changes she’s always wanted.

A MLC goes through the same stages as all transitions; Shock, Denial, Depression, Anger and finally Acceptance. Some people transition through the stages smoothly; others will go back and forth, stuck in the middle three stages, until they finally get to acceptance.

Any crisis is an opportunity to grow and find positive outcomes. Take the MLC as the perfect time to find who you really are and unleash those hidden passions. Write the book, climb the mountain, learn a language, live in Italy for 6 months – the world is your oyster, so live your life.

Female midlife crisis? I prefer to think of it as “female midlife empowerment” and dive straight on in, show the younger generation just how it’s done.

Coaching Questions:

What are 2 things that are on your “would love to do one day” list?
What’s stopping you from getting started?
If not now, when?

Extra Reading:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1059032,00.html

Self Care

2011-05-03T22:11:00.000-07:00

We can become very much like a computer with too many windows open, eventually something has to crash. So as you would log off and shut down your computer to allow it to reboot, you need to also do the same for yourself.

Much of what we have been taught has been centered on how to take care of others. Many of us have never been taught that in order to take care of others, we must pay as good attention to our own self-care. This is not about brushing your teeth, washing the clothes, keeping a tidy house. This includes taking time out, playfulness and fun, being creative, exercise, good nourishing diet, making the time to do what makes you truly happy. When we are feeling happy, whole, nourished, appreciated, energized we are in a much better position to then look after others.

We often feel pulled in every direction, as a friend, sister, mother, wife, partner, lover, employee, career, cleaner, there are so many hats we wear as women. One of the hardest things for us to say is “NO”, which is odd because we could say it easily when we were 2 years old but like many things, we are taught not to. So instead of trying to say NO more to others, when appropriate, try to say YES more to you.

Saying no does not make us a bad person, if anything it can be empowering and energizing. It can make us stop being the victim and feeling that we are only here to make everyone’s life run smoothly, forgetting the importance of our own needs.

If you are the type of person who finds it hard saying no, take the challenge and try it out. You may be able to delegate the job to someone else or offer guidance to the one asking. Let others respect your time and they can learn not to take you for granted. This does not mean that you need to say NO to everything, just choose what you want to do, without causing any resentment. Make yourself unavailable to others for a certain amount of time each week to spend time just for you. Take notice of how that makes you feel. Spreading your self too thinly does no one any good. Stop and smell the roses – you just may find a treasure you were not expecting.

Coaching question:

How well do you take care of yourself?

Do you feel guilty when you aren’t “doing” anything?

When was the last time you did something just because?

This month, find some ways to find a balance between taking care of you and a loved one so everyone's needs are met.

Too Nice or Just Too Soft?

2011-03-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

We’ve all heard someone say and even said it ourselves “You’re just too nice.”

Think about that statement for a moment. Is that really true? Are you so nice that you allow people to walk over you and or your business?

Often being “too nice” is just taking the easy way out…..…steering clear of confrontation, not wanting to rock the boat! Is this “Too Nice” employer really doing the best thing – the nice thing for their staff, business and themselves? Or are they just deferring the inevitable disciplinary or under-performing warning that someone eventually needs to hear?

What would happen if an employer, parent, teacher, friend took the “too nice” option away and dealt with the issues as they arose? It would allow each party to confer and take appropriate action then and there. Being able to clear the air and allow for open communication. Perhaps there are underlying reasons that the employer is underperforming and a quick and regular check-in could save any upset, disciplinary action or even dismissal occurring. Could waiting until the shit hits the fan so to speak, be unfair to the receiver, especially if actions could have been taken earlier to prevent it getting to that stage.

Some benefits of not being too soft could be as rewarding as uncovering skills and hidden talents, not allowing bad habits and feelings to fester and spread, uncovering concerns and problems that can actually benefit the organization if brought into the open. When one is required to be made accountable for actions and expected to step-up, the flow on effect is personal pride and self worth, learning and using new skills, and possibly a stronger bottom line for the organization, hopeful flowing onto the employee.

If you are really nice, giving someone fair and honest feedback early and as required is the nice thing to do, not only for your employee but for your own stress levels and others around you. Can one not be strong, fair and nice?

Coaching Question:

o Have you found yourself taking the” too nice” option in the past to escape confrontation?

o What are you not doing in your life because you are being too nice?

o What are 2 things you are willing to stop putting up with this month?

Resource Reading:

Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott

Quote:

"There is no strength without challenge, adversity, resistance and often pain. Strength comes from our ability to stand up, face resistance and walk through it." Oprah

First Stage of Transition

2011-02-13T17:36:00.000-08:00

Change is a constant, and when we realize that is it inevitable, many emotions begin to emerge. Some of these feelings, which are all very natural, can be numbness, fear, anxiety, excitement, apprehension, grief, anger, feeling trapped, relief, uncertainty.

Whether the transition you are experiencing is something you are wanting such as a marriage, new baby, relocation or new job – or one that has been thrust upon you, you may feel overwhelmed or even shocked, unable to see the future clearly. Be aware that this can be a period where you do not think clearly and is best not be make decisions with haste. Also what you are experiencing is very natural and you are not alone.

This is the first stage of transition; it can be called “Discomfort”, “Losing Focus” even “Disbelief or Denial”. It is a good idea to stick with routines that you know work, try not to over commit and take time out for yourself when you need to. It is not the time to add other changes to your life such as weight loss or volunteering for charity work. Take time for yourself and include the things you love to do and find ways to nurture yourself, such as yoga, reading, having fresh flowers around you, listening to music, drinking favorite teas, hitting a golf ball, being with friends, being in nature.

Every transition begins with an ending, and as with all endings you need time to let go of the past.

Coaching questions;

What scares you most about this change?

What does the next level look like?

Clutter

2011-02-06T17:52:00.000-08:00

I tend to be a procrastinator. I also know that I am not alone!

I decided this week, to give myself a challenge and put into action something that I have been delaying - Clearing Clutter - one thing that really does get me down, living in clutter – potential chaos even!

When we talk about de-cluttering, people usually start thinking about the most obvious places in need, their desk and work area, the kitchen or wardrobe. There are many areas in our lives which need to be de-cluttered that are not so obvious such as areas in the garden or garage, activities which no longer serve us, newsletters we subscribe to, files on our computer, to-do lists and even people!

So whether it is business or private, Andrew Mellen suggests the following Ground Rules;

1. Everything you own should have value, either because it’s functional or beautiful or you just love it

2. Every item needs a place where it “lives.”

3. Focus on one thing at a time.

As I work through my list one area at a time and change my procrastinating habit, it is amazing how good it feels. I can use the above mentioned grounds rules as a guide to allow a wonderful new space and sense of calmness to emerge, not to mention a great feeling of achievement and joy.

Very important areas we may not think of to de-clutter are our thoughts, for they can cause great anxiety and stress. The secret here is to ask the question “what can and can’t you change?” Maybe the only thing you can change about certain situations is your attitude - for all the worrying we do, things we don’t like still happen.

Ask yourself what overwhelms you? Figure out what you can do to avoid situations like that or keep them from escalating. Have a plan in place for when these situations arise so you are better armed to cope with them.

So here is a challenge for you.

What area of your life have you wanted to de-clutter? Can you put it into action this week? The sense of accomplishment will be well worth the doing.

How was 2010 for you?

2010-12-14T15:32:00.000-08:00

Did you achieve all the things that you wanted to? Did you loose that bit of extra weight, take that holiday you’ve been dreaming of, enroll into a coarse that has been on your mind for ages, find better paid employment that you’ve been discussing with others, take up that gym membership or golf lessons, cut back on spending, read the books that have been recommended to you, taken more time to be with friends and family? The list can go on and on!

Is this what you want to be asked again at the end of 2011? Did you achieve all the things that you wanted to? You have the opportunity to change the answers to the questions. What do you want those answers to be?

As a coach I can confirm that there is no better time to get your intentions into action than today. Get a vision of what you want. Make is clear, but not too safe. It is important to stretch yourself. Many things worth achieving are sometimes just outside your comfort zone. When your vision is clear, set your goals. Make yourself accountable by sharing your goals with a friend or colleague or coach. Put processes into place to make your goal achievable, be sure to be realistic on time frames and reward yourself with the progress you make along the way.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do”. Mark Twain

Just For Today

2010-11-30T14:53:00.000-08:00

This is too good not to share, so please enjoy the following article by Bonnie Ross-Parke The Connection Diva www.bonnierossparker.com

"Remember the expression, “What a difference a day makes”?
Well, I decided to focus on the possibilities of one day to see
what might happen with the right attitude.

Just for Today I will not tackle all of my “to do list”, but rather,
do what I can and be ok with what I accomplish. Just for Today
I will take the time to read, to expand my awareness on an issue,
or engage in an activity that is enlightening and stretches my
thinking.

Just for Today I will accept whatever comes my way. I know the
universe doesn't always provide what I want, but rather, produces
what ends up serving my best interest. I will accept the actions,
ideas, and behaviors of others by giving them permission to be
who they are.

Just for Today I will implement a plan of action and not fall into the
trap of meeting someone else's expectations or demands on my time.
The operative word today is FOCUS. It is my intention to stay
focused and accomplish the main goal of the day.

Just for Today I will engage in generosity by doing a good deed for
the joy it will bring me without needing or expecting something in
return. I will express gratitude to people regardless of how small their
influence is in the bigger picture of life.

Just for Today I will do things I really don't enjoy doing to strengthen
my character. I will exercise and not complain. I will eat in
moderation knowing that there are people everywhere who are underfed.
I will overlook the inconveniences of life because often life gives us the test
first and the lesson comes later.

Just for Today I will remain untroubled. I will be steadfast in my
commitments, give myself permission to be imperfect, and offer
the world my best self. And when the day is over I will look back
and be grateful that I did what I set out to do, even if it was
Just for Today!"

Inspirational Parable ~ The Cracked Pot

2010-08-31T21:11:00.000-07:00

A person carrying water had two large pots each hung on each end
of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had
a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always
delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk
from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived
only half full. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its
perfect accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection.
This went on daily for two full years. And finally the imperfect
pot spoke to the water carrier one day by the stream. "I am
ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked
the carrier. "For two years, I have been able to deliver only
half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak
out all the way back to your house," the pot said. The water
carrier replied, "As we return to the house, I want you to notice
the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up
the hill, the cracked pot noticed there were beautiful wild
flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.

But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had
leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized for its
failure. The carrier said to the pot, "Did you notice that there
were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other
pot's side? Every day while we walk back from the stream, you've
watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these
beautiful flowers to decorate my table. Without you being just
the way you are, I would not have this beauty to grace my house."

Know that in our weakness we find our strength

Nelson Mandela

2010-07-18T18:50:00.000-07:00

"If you are humble, you are no threat to anybody. Some behave in a way that dominates others. That's a mistake. If you want the cooperation of humans around you, you must make them feel they are important—and you do that by being genuine and humble. You know that other people have qualities that may be better than your own. Let them express them."

Why Wait?

2010-01-19T17:24:00.000-08:00

I have noticed a common theme with my clients and people I have spoken to. When asked if they are glad that they have made changes, they tell me “yes” but their only regret is that they did not make the changes sooner.

With waiting being such a common regret, why do we so often resist making a change? My best guess is fear! Even when we are unhappy where we are fear keeps us from doing what we will later regret not doing sooner. We have a fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of achieving. Fear of change can be very confronting.

Good news is, is that if we make a change that we are unhappy with, we can change it again, and allow each experience to teach us something. Change is constant and all change is a process, so any movement is better than staying stagnant. Instead of waiting for a change to come to you, go ahead and make a change, even the smallest of changes is better than doing nothing.

I find that people regret more what they don’t do than what they do. Lose the wait and begin making the change you want now happen. Life is about experimenting and discovering, not playing it safe and staying stuck.

Ask yourself “What is one thing in my life I will regret not doing this year?” Promise yourself to live without regret and figure out a way to start making it happen. You don’t have to do it all at once, change takes time. Take small steps and commit to doing at least one thing a day that will move you closer to the change you want.

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life and in change there is power." Alan Cohen

New Years Intentions vs. New Years Resolution

2009-11-30T17:46:00.000-08:00

In less than one months time the majority of us are going to set some New Years Resolutions for 2010. Why do so many people talk of, and even admit to, making New Year's resolutions when almost none of them will be kept?

Statistics show that somewhere in the vicinity of 97% of New Year's resolutions won't be kept.…why? The reasons are simple…
1. Most people expect not to keep a resolution
2. Most don't know how to truly set goals or don't believe it matters

Try instead to set an Intention for your new life – not just your new year. List your top 3 commitments for your personal health and wellness and build them into your everyday life. Look for the bigger need behind the desire, what is really important for you? It may be to have more sleep and rest, get more relaxation and fun, add physical activity into everyday, eat with awareness or just be grateful and reflect on the day.

Structure + willpower = success
Willpower alone will not work; it must be combined with structures. Allow your structures to become habits by using your daily planner, working with a buddy or coach and remember to reward yourself for successes. Focus on the end result.

Through accountability and having support systems in place the seemingly unattainable can become achievable.

2009-09-30T22:18:00.001-07:00

“Whether we realize it or not, all of us are responsible for creating the body we live in.”— Deepak Chopra

This short quote can pack quite a punch. Our dear friend has just experienced a heart attack and we are very grateful he will have a full recovery though he realizes that some life changes are overdue. This scary experience also highlighted to me and my family not to take our bodies for granted. The little” tap on the shoulder” was a wake up call to look after our bodies and treat them with respect.

We choose what we put into it and how we keep it maintained. Most people are very aware of outward appearances by wearing clean and neat clothes and being well groomed. We are also aware of the importance of looking after and maintaining a car, bike, house or boat and know that it will not run efficiently if we do not keep it regularly tuned up and serviced. So why is then that we take our own bodies for granted until something happens? Take some time to give your body an overhaul. Do a self diet and fitness check list, be honest and if needed get some assistance? Ask where you need improving on and what needs to go! Make a visit for a medical and eye check and a dental check and any other check that you have been putting off. Invest in yourself, cause you are not only doing yourself and your loved ones a favour, you are showing respect and gratitude for the wonderful body you where given.

We don’t know what our future holds for us, but we can have some say on what condition it will be in.

Complementary Consultation

2009-07-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

Being a business owner, executive or professional has such a knee jerk reaction with the amount of time spent at work; it throws other areas of your life way out off balance.

I have asked my clients to list some of the consequences of this unbalanced life style, and have found a pattern emerging.

Can you say yes to some or all of these:-

Suffering ill health or often getting colds or injury
Tired and lack energy
Limited family time
Feeling stressed
Lacking creativity in decision making
Personal fitness not getting a look in
Relationship breakdowns

I am offering 50 Complimentary Consultations over the next several weeks, to invite professionals to focus on how their Work/Life balance is looking. I will send you a form with 4 questions to answer regarding your current Work/Life Balance and when you return to me, we will book a free 30 minute phone consultation. Email me at julie@lifefocusplus.com with Complementary Consultation in the heading and make the first step toward bringing that much needed balance back into your life.

Never Enough Time?

2009-07-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

Never Enough Time?

Does that sound familiar to you?

Is it really true?

If your work day is not long enough and work commitments are the problem, we can look at just a few changes that could make your day flow easier, such as making lists, prioritising tasks, taking 10 minutes at the end of the work day to plan your next day, block off time where you cannot be disturbed and stick to it. All these things you all ready know, right?

Is it your home and social life suffering without enough hours? Are you being realistic with what you want to achieve with the time you have to achieve it? Or is your time being stolen by activities that do not serve you i.e. watching too much television, sleeping in when you could be out and about, doing things or being with people who are not feeding your soul or are you just straight out procrastinating?

There always has been and will be 24 hours in a day ~ what you do with it is up to!

As a coach I work with Time Management and Life / Work Balance, these are important issues that affect everyone. Time is something that once it is gone, you cannot get back. This is reality!

At the beginning of each week is a great time to review and plan the brand new week ahead. Prioritise and plan what you want to achieve during the week and ask yourself how important it is for to accomplish it? If it is something of high importance, either for work or personal, block off time for it in your diary now! If it is a large project, you may need to block out several times during the week, or over a few weeks, to work on this goal. Be realistic and don’t overstretch yourself. If a goal is not of a high importance, you can still give it time during your week, but allow it to be moved if needed. Give yourself permission to replace it with a higher priority task without feeling guilty. It can be re-diarised for a later date – just re-schedule it, at the time of moving so it is not forgotten, know that it is out of your head. It is likely that it will become a high priority at a later date.

If your time management, or lack of it, is causing you stress, it may be time to work with a coach who can help you with your day to day activities. Are your goals in line with your values? Do you know what your true values are? Visit my website and do the Values Worksheet to find out http://www.lifefocusplus.com/

Who, exactly seeks out a coach? -” Winners who want even more out of life." -Chicago Tribune

Crabby Old Woman

2009-07-07T22:01:00.000-07:00

When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee, Scotland, it was believed that she had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through her meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Ireland.

The old lady's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on her simple, but eloquent, poem.

Crabby Old Woman

What do you see, nurses................What do you see?

What are you thinking......When you're looking at me?

A crabby old woman..........................Not very wise,

Uncertain of habit,......................With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles her food ............... And makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice.......'I do wish you'd try!'

Who seems not to notice ..........The things that you do,

And forever is losing .....................A stocking or shoe?

Who, resisting or not, ..............Lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding, ..............The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking?......... Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse,.....You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am .......................As I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, ................... As I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten..............With a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters.......................Who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen ...................With wings on her feet

Dreaming that soon now ..................... A lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty, ................... My heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows ............... That I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now,.....................I have young of my own,

Who need me to guide ............... And a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty,.................... My young now grown fast,

Bound to each other.....................With ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons..............Have grown and are gone,

But my man's beside me.....................To see I don't mourn

At fifty once more,...................Babies play round my knee,

Again we know children,................... My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me,.......................My husband is dead,

I look at the future,.............................I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing .................Young of their own,

And I think of the years.......... And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman......................... And nature is cruel;

Tis jest to make old age ............................. Look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles,..................... Grace and vigor depart,

There is now a stone.................... Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass................ A young girl still dwells,

And now and again,...................... My battered heart swells.

I remember the joys,.......................... I remember the pain,

And I'm loving and living.............................. Life over again.

I think of the years..................... All too few, gone too fast,

And accept the stark fact......................That nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people,.............................Open and see,

Not a crabby old woman;..........Look closer......see,.....ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.....we will all, one day, be there, too!

2009-06-29T21:41:00.000-07:00

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.

You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative and independence.

You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

-Abraham Lincoln

Year Half Over!

2009-06-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

As we come to the end of June, it is a great time to reflect on the months we have just visited.

Have your New Year resolutions, dreams and goals for 2009 been put in place? Have all or some been achieved or have they been forgotten about and put into the "too hard" basket or "it was just a dream" basket?
This time of year is a great time to re-visit goals that you have and uncover new ones to accomplish. Did you write a list at the start of the year that you can now read over and excite yourself again about?
Do you need some encouragement or support with putting plans into actions? All goals and dreams need a starting point ~ which is to realise that that is what you want. See, you've started already, you have some of those already. Next step is to break that goal down into baby steps and even work with your coach to turn your dreams and goals into realities.

This year has found me graduating from my coaching coarse, publishing my web site and building my coaching business. It was a goal I set for myself last year and have such satisfaction seeing it complete. The joy I get from working with my clients is more than I could have expected and each day brings new insights, challenges and ways for me to grow.

Over the next half of this year I intend to turn my hand at writing some articles for publication, a dream that I have had for a while and one that I will turn into a reality.

Have a wonderful second half of 2009 and don't loose sight of your dreams ~ make them happen.

Eat Chocolate

2009-05-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

I found this quote in a new magazine I bought myself on the week-end and want to share with you.

"Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done" - anonymous

That just takes all the guilt out of eating chocolate doesn't it!

Being able to tick things off a to-do list is very satisfying, even small tasks can make a huge difference to how you feel at the end of a day. Just knowing that you accomplished something that you set out to do was done. Even if it is to give yourself a treat and eat chocolate!

"A Road Not Taken"

2009-04-23T20:30:00.000-07:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I—I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

By ~ Robert Frost

What road will you take when it comes time to make a change in your life. Are you ready to let go of the safety rails and jump?

Habits

2009-03-23T18:18:00.000-07:00

Habit dulls your senses.

As comforting as your routines may be, change them sometimes. Leave your comfort zone behind. Sleep on the other side of the bed. Use your other hand to brush your teeth. Go out mid-week or to places you have never been. Learn a new skill or try a new sport.

Invite friends to picnic in the park at sunset or gather at the beach early morning. Do whatever wakes you up.

Let the leader follow and the follower lead.

Your moods

2009-03-17T15:33:00.000-07:00

Your moods and emotions affect everyone around you, regardless of how powerless you feel.

Take total responsibility for the emotional atmosphere you are creating.

Behave cheerfully and courteously.

Your feelings will follow.

It's March Already!

2009-03-09T20:28:00.001-07:00

We are well into March already, and I would love to ask you how you are going with your new years resolutions? Still on track?

Perhaps this week you could take some time out to re assess your plans for 2009. Is what you decided on at the end of 2008 for the New Year still relevant? Is it something that you really wanted or something that you thought you should be doing? Perhaps that is why nothing is happening!

Whilst reassessing your plan, don’t forget to add some time for your self. Block some short 30 minute slots in your day to go for a walk or run, do some drawing, some writing, listen to some music you love or take the time for meditating. Make it the same time each day, when you can just be you and re-energize self. I bet after doing this, you will have more to give to others.

Yes, there are many things that need to get done, but in this moment I have to do nothing.
—Oprah Winfrey

In loving memory of Nick

2009-03-03T17:17:00.001-08:00

Thursday 27th saw the passing of a dear soul who felt he could no longer stay on this earth. Nick had struggled and faced many demons since he was around 10 years old and for 10 years he has lived a life that was right for him, and the path he needed to travel.
He will be remembered for his cheeky smile, overflowing amount of energy, charisma, can-do attitude, and his great guitar playing, and music writing.
It is with sadness for everyone who had met Nick, that his beautiful bright light has gone out on this earth plane. I feel that he is at peace in a much greater place on the “other side” where he is happy.
His amazing parents acknowledged that they had Nick for 10 years longer than what they thought they would, and are very grateful for that. Their sobering and beautiful acceptance has allowed us to all cope with this loss a little easier. Their perspective on this tragic loss is one of gratitude and love.

May we all be more aware of our loved ones around us and not take them for granted, and not let them leave the house in the morning without saying goodbye and to make peace with them if needed. Hug your children and tell them you love them, and do it as many times as you can. They are a gift from God and are to be cherished – no matter what. Be grateful for your loved ones every day and image if you dare, what your life would be with them gone! Do you need to change your perspective towards someone you love?

Now send them a message, a blessing and hug them as often.

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
—Winston Churchill

Giving

2009-02-25T16:58:00.000-08:00

The resent bushfires in Victoria and the severe floods effecting Queensland have brought into focus again, the huge generosity of complete strangers throughout Australia and overseas. Huge amounts of money given and donations of food, accommodation, blood, clothing, animal supplies, the services of CFA and other emergency response teams, plus the support from the authorities and the public have been very heart warming.

It has highlighted the great Aussie spirit of pulling up your sleeves and just doing what needs to be done and proving that mate ship is still so very much alive. From high profile people, to young children giving coins from their piggy bank, farming families who are suffering great hardships themselves to the average person, have all been touched and so many have given something. Being able to give is a wonderful and important human act for everyone involved and being able to give is as important as it is to receive.

These natural disasters highlight that we are all human and that tragedy can strike at any time, to any one of us and that the life we know is never a 100% guarantee. Take the time to give to others when you can, without expecting anything in return, or even without anyone knowing. Be it a gold coin to a charity, time spent on a community project, support for a fellow worker, kind words to a neighbor or if you see some one who has lost their smile ~ give them one of yours.

Please take a minute’s silence

2009-02-10T19:52:00.000-08:00

This week Victoria, Australia has experienced its worst natural disaster in the country’s history. The enormous bush fire which ravaged our land took not only homes and people’s livelihoods, but claimed over 180 lives with many more missing, expected dead.
How insignificant the economic woes of the world become when one considers the tragedy that's unfolding so close to home. You would be hard pressed to find anyone anywhere in the country complaining about their own financial loss or employment security. It is a time when reality hits hard and we realize what is truly important. It is a time to be grateful for what we have and to acknowledge each day and accept it as a blessing. As we look on at this devastation, it is heart warming to see the tireless fire fighters and volunteers who so selfishly avail themselves to help others.
With Valentines Day on Saturday, be grateful for what you have and for the ones around you and your community, people who are there for you in times of crisis, small or large! Start by loving yourself and allow others to love you. Be aware that this tragedy has allowed you to feel your heart chakra open and remember to live your life with kindness, to yourself first and to then everyone and everything that comes into your life.

Believing You Can

2009-02-01T16:06:00.000-08:00

"A young man fell asleep during math class. He woke up as the bell rang, looked at the blackboard, and copied down the two problems that were there. He assumed they were the homework for the night. He went home and labored the rest of the afternoon and into the evening knowing if he didn't complete the work he would surely fail the class.

He couldn't figure out either one but he kept trying for the rest of the week. Finally, he got the answer to one and brought it to class. The teacher was absolutely stunned. The boy feared he had done too little, too late. It turned out the problem he solved was supposedly unsolvable. How did he do it? He was able to do what was thought to be impossible because he believed it was possible. He not only believed it was possible, he believed that if he didn't solve it he would fail the class. Had he known the problem was unsolvable he could never have done it.

Beliefs are the commanders of our brain. When we believe something is true, we literally go into the state of its being true. Handled effectively, beliefs can be the most powerful forces for creating good in our lives.

Beliefs control our destiny: The belief we have in ourselves... the belief we have in our clients.. the belief others have in us. The birth of excellence begins with the awareness that our beliefs are a choice.

Beliefs are the compass and map that guide us to our goals. Believe you can do something -OR- believe you can't and you'll be right every time. "

If you are a tennis fan, you will know the famous words Come On!!. We have been enjoying a wonderful 2 weeks of the Australian Open tennis tournament. One thing that has stood out in so many of the top games that we witnessed, is the amazing stamina of the players during the heat wave Melbourne has been through, and also how crowd support can lift a player to go on to win a match.

In our own day to day life, praise, support and ongoing motivation from family and friends can also have amazing effects. Perhaps it is something that we accept for granted, or something that we do not easily give to others.

If we can see tennis matches turn around by the uplifting support of a crowd of strangers, imagine what can happen with encouraging support from someone close. Go on, give someone a lift this week and notice how you feel and how the recipient reacts. Believe in yourself and share that with others.

December 31st, 2009

2009-01-12T20:21:00.000-08:00

Here is a request for you to try. As it is the start of a fresh new year and there are many challenges and goals ahead of you, some may seem achievable and others not quite so easy. I ask you to take a sheet or two of paper and date it December 31, 2009. Now list all of the achievements that you have done throughout 2009. Now add another list of everything that you are grateful for having in your year. Dream a little and don’t make your outcomes too safe, leave some room for miracles to happen. By doing this exercise, you have started your vision to become your reality. Seeing this list written down makes your goals feel very much more achievable.

This also will make you take time to reflect on who you are. Quiet time alone can be the most important time for you to create. Stillness of the mind creates space for ideas to come into your reality and inspiration comes with stillness. Relaxation time allows new thoughts and calm energy to enter your life. If you cannot do this daily, perhaps a few times a week will be more manageable.

Allow 2009 to be a good year with many positive changes and challengers. You only need to believe it, be positive and trust it to happen.

Transitions

2009-01-05T18:12:00.000-08:00

With the beginning of a new year, one can find oneself in transition mode, or at least become much more aware of it. As another year has ended and with it go events and memories both good and bad. New years are often the beginning of job changes, location moves, reminder of deep sorrow from the lose of loved ones, new schools for children, finishing school for teenagers and perhaps them even moving away from home. Ending of cycles can be a sad and often uncomfortable time for many people. New cycles, such as the start of a new year, can bring positive changes if we allow it to. While there is life there is change and it is up to us to make the most of each new change, cause change happens whether we like it or not.

Making sense of life’s changes can be a soul searching process. Being able to understand and find positives from each new occurrence can be a rewarding adventure. Finding oneself on their own due to any number of circumstances can be an overwhelming challenge. But as with many things, it is one small step at a time. To be able to work through the discomfort of mapping out a new and different path is well worth the angst. Picture the end result and keep that in mind as you put new changes into your daily routine.

If you are in transition mode try to relax and enjoy any new experiences that come your way. Look for something new to try, perhaps something that you have secretly wanted to try out. Don’t worry about failing; it is not as bad as not giving it a go at all! Rather than writing a list of New Year resolutions, write down what you do not want to be or have or be doing in 10 years from now. From this list you can slowly make the steps you need to prevent the “don’t wants” from happening. Being aware is a powerful tool to have on your side as you focus energy away from “done that mode”, to wow “look what the future I can make for myself mode”.

May you shine in 2009 and allow it to be a year of ending old patterns that no longer serve you and the beginning of self finding and inner happiness.

Get Back Up

2008-12-15T14:37:00.000-08:00

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=MslbhDZoniY

Enjoy this short video, it is self explanatory and most powerful.
I know there is a message in it for us all.

Take a moment to read

2008-12-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

GEORGE CARLIN (His wife recently died...) Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate. A Message by George Carlin:The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways,but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much.We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.If you don't send this to other people....Who cares? George Carlin

Slow it Down

2008-12-02T16:17:00.001-08:00

As the end of the year is coming so quickly, I feel that we need to make a conscious decision to slow down and not get caught up in Christmas mania. I have added some lyrics of a song which I love by “Click on Colour”. Slow it down cause you’re always at a million miles an hour. Their myspace link is on the right of my blog page so you can listen to some of the songs.

It is a good time of year to unclutter space around you. Start small, perhaps in a drawer or work area which you often use. Remove everything that does not serve you anymore and either throw or give away. Clean the space and as you return your items, notice how you feel. Satisfied that you have finally gotten to that job, more in control, lighter in spirit as the clutter has gone and it feels good to minimize?

Go one step further and add some calming fragrance or oils or candles around your area, my favorite is lavender, and perhaps treat yourself to some flowers. Take moments at random times during the day to stop and focus on your breathing. As you breath out, exhale any stress or anxiety that you may been holding onto. Focus on taking a deep breath in, hold and exhale till you can go no more, all old stale air expelled. Do this for 3 or 4 breaths. Whatever it may take for you to “slow it down” make a conscious effort to do it.

Enjoy the coming weeks and don’t loose sight of what is truly important.

First things first .......

2008-11-23T20:36:00.000-08:00

If I had my child to raise all over again

If I had my child to raise all over again
I’d build self-esteem first and the house later
I’d finger paint more and point the finger less
I would do less correcting and more connecting
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes

I would care to know less and know to care more

I’d take more hikes and fly more kites
I’d stop playing serious and seriously play
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars

I’d do more hugging and less tugging
I’d see the oak in the acorn more often
I would be firm less often and affirm much more
I’d model less about the love of power and more about the power of love

Dianne Loomans

This is a lovely reminder that I have had on my fridge for the last 15 or more years. It is there to remind me that life is so short and children are young for an even shorter time. It reminds me that making the beds, sweeping the floor, doing the dishes are not the most important tasks in the day and of the importance to stop and take time for ones around me.

This struck home to me more then I realized when I was at a friends home for dinner and someone accidently spilled a drink, possibly staining a lovely lace cloth. I was reminded by this lovely woman who had suffered the loss of her only son, a stained cloth does not even register on the “care counter”.

I know that I sometimes forget that my saying is on the fridge and am always gently humbled when I uncover it again from under all the school notices and shopping lists, and remember what is truly important. Life is not about how long your life is, it’s about what you do with it.

Reach Out

2008-11-18T15:42:00.000-08:00

With Christmas just around the corner, I find myself in “mega planning” mode. Am I going away, do I drive or fly, what food do I need to arrange, what cards I need to write, what presents must I buy, who is my KK this year ~ what will they like, my diary of events to attend. The stores are ready to take my hard earned money and are happy to guilt me into buying anything, mostly costly, things that I don’t think any of us really, really need!

When I think about it, it doesn’t matter how much money I spend to show my love and this year I refuse to get swept up with the retail hurricane. (Perhaps except for a new pair of sparkly shoes.) When I stop and think of what is truly important, my answer is people, not things. I know something that I can do, and that is, I can take time to call or visit a friend, who I have been putting off seeing and take more time for my elderly parents and church community.

I want to give everyone reading my blog, to take the challenge and do at least one charitable deed this year. Who around you may be lonely? A neighbor, a relative, a stranger on a train, a work colleague? Stop and look around yourself with different glasses on and really see what others could be experiencing. What is happening at the local church or community program that you can help out with?

See how these small acts of kindness make you feel. Will you feel it in your head or in your heart; that you have done a good thing? To me, this is more the true meaning of Christmas than gift buying and parties, and new shoes! Give something so valuable, something that can make you feel whole and satisfied – give your self.

Can you say “No”.

2008-11-09T21:51:00.000-08:00

Why is it, that it is so hard for some people to say “NO”. Is it because they feel that they are the saviors of everyone around them? It is their duty or life’s mission to always be there for everyone else? Or is it because they are workaholics or they feel the need to prove to everyone that they are capable of and “up to the challenge” of everything thrown their way? Perhaps they don’t realize they are doing it and are just so used to being there for everyone else that they have not even stopped to think that it is OK to say NO.Saying no does not make you a bad person, if anything it can be empowering and energizing. It can make us stop being the victim and feeling that we are only here to make everyone’s life run smoothly, forgetting the importance of our own needs.

If you are the type of person who finds it hard saying no, take the challenge and try it out. You may be able to delegate the job to someone else or offer guidance to the one asking. Let others respect your time and they can learn not to take you for granted. This does not mean that you need to say NO to everything, just choose what you want to do with out causing any resentment. Make yourself unavailable to others for a certain amount of time each week to spend time just for you. Take notice of how that makes you feel. Spreading your self too thinly does no one any good. It's easy , just say ~ no, but thanks for asking.

Socrates/Plato: Complaining of the Youth

2008-10-27T20:42:00.000-07:00

"The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are tyrants, not servants of the households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers." I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and impatient of restraint.~attributed to Hesiod (8th century B.C.)

What would happen if Socrates changed his prospective of how he saw the children that he speaks of as being disrespectful, and viewed them in a different light? I’m thinking the stress levels of all concerned would have been lowered!

So it seems that the youth of today are just like the youth of times gone by. What can we do about behavior we do not like? I guess setting examples are always good, or perhaps it could be as simple as just being present. Living in the now and taking precious time together.

There are so many obstacles in this busy world of ours that get in the way of being present or being “there”. I wonder what would happen if we all learnt how to live in the moment, in the now. Not worry about the past as that has gone and cannot be changed, and the future comes soon enough without focusing on it too much.

While we are lucky to have children around us, we should take time and live in the now. I know that cannot be a 24hour place to be, but for a short time daily would be a good start. Don’t let the moments fly by, they are not ever retrievable.

Here we are, Monday again!

2008-10-12T18:36:00.000-07:00

Reflecting on the week, a lot has been happening. On a world wide scene the financial markets are making history and world wide news, markets and banks falling, advertising doom and gloom and panic in the community. All eyes are looking at our countries leaders to Lead! Wars and terror still make headlines and you have to ask "is there ever any winners?"
At home in Australia, spring has begun and we are suffering a history making drought! Some areas not having had proper rain fall for well over 10 years! In Melbourne, the city is excited with the end of the football season and the start of the spring racing (horses) season.
There are many distractions going on, and they are all out of my control even the ones which effect me!
In my smaller community, I am hearing of friends fighting different battles. From leukemia, to prostate cancer to throat cancer to mental illness to breast cancer to brain damage to marriage trouble. All so varied and each so traumatic to each individual and each family.
All this has really highlighted to me how grateful I am for all I have. I have no control over global or larger happenings in the world, but I can tell my family and friends how much I appreciate them and love them, and choose not to take that for grated.
I heard someone say the world is going through a "birthquake" ~ perhaps we are getting a bit of a shake up, and God wants to remind us to treasure the ones we love.

Our deepest fear is not ...

2008-10-07T19:53:00.000-07:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves,

“Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?” Actually, who

are you NOT to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does NOT serve the world. There

is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to manifest the glory that is within us. And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Spoken by Nelson Mandela

1994 Inaugural Speech

This is a wonderful posting that I have very gratefully copied from a friends blog, with her permission. It talks about our fear, so often the fear we have is the fear of not failing but of actually succeeding!

Feeling that we are not worthy to have all that we want. Well if not you, then who is worthy, why aren't you just as worthy as the next guy?

I hope this resonates with you as much as it does with me. I also hope that it may give you courage that you may have been looking for, to go that extra step and live your true desires.

Dreams

2008-10-03T18:35:00.000-07:00

"you can't make your dream happen, if you don't have a dream!"

When was the last time you took time out to do some dreaming of your own? Perhaps you have forgotten how too, or even been so consumed with the fast pace of life that you do not have time for dreaming any more!

If you find it hard to get in touch with what you want; divide a sheet of paper in half, length ways and ask yourself ~ what don't I want? eg You may not want bad health, lack of money, no friends, unsatisfactory job, dull holiday destinations, lack of excitement, putting up with an old car etc. List these on the left hand side of your blank sheet, then write the opposite of your don't wants on the right had side. This is a good simple exercise to give you an idea of what you want. When you know what you want, then you can take action toward getting it.

While you are doing this, extend yourself ~ do a mind dump of everything and anything that you think of. Even if you feel that it is not achievable now, list it. Even start a vision board with cut-out pictures of wants and dreams. How can you bring about your wants and dreams, if you don't see it, feel it and want it?

Dream big and dream bold and have fun seeing what happens. :0)

Who am I when no ones looking?

2008-09-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

There’s a soul-searching question for you!

It’s a question that I like to throw out to my clients;
it’s a question that no one else in the whole world can
answer for you. Can you answer it ~ truthfully answer it.

Don’t say what you want others to hear or see, or how
you think your expected to behave, act or feel. Have
you forgotten or lost the answer over the years. Often
the need to be responsible, having a career, family,
mortgage or just growing old can make you loose sight of you?

Take some time to re-visit your childhood.  Think back to some of
the fantasies, games and dreams you had all those years ago, when
anything was possible and the world was your oyster.
When it didn’t matter what anyone else thought and when
you had no inhabitations and life was fun.

If your not liking what you’re seeing when no one
else is around, ask yourself what you need to do, to
change this. Is there just so much on your plate that
there is no longer time just for you or is there
something missing that you need to add to your life
to make you feel more

Go find a grassy place and lie on your back and look for pictures
in the clouds and think about who you really are when there is no
one looking.   

I hope you like what you see.

Getting started

2008-09-21T18:43:00.000-07:00

I have been absent for a few weeks, enjoying a wonderful overseas holiday and am now ready to jump back into work. Today I start my new job of full-time student. Though I have had a productive morning, I cannot stop thinking of all the housework that needs attention! That is going to be a big issue with working from home. It is time to bring into practice all my time management skills and be disciplined at following a daily schedule.

Why is it always so much easier to see what others need to be doing and to give advice to them? So, I will lead by example and walk the talk so to speak and put procrastination behind me and plan my diary. I think that once you have written something down, you are more inclined to commit to it.

Earlier this year I sat and listed all the components to my ideal job and also a list of things that I wanted to achieve for the year. Well, I am happy to report that my ideal job is life coaching and I have taken all the steps to make this happen. On my second list of things to do, I am still working through it, but it is good to have and to revisit every now and then. I don't want to come to the end of another year and feel that nothing has been achieved. It is in every ones power to change that around and live a fuller life.

Why not do a list for yourself and title it:- In The Next 12 Months I Will .... and you can then think of 4-5 things you'd like to achieve under headings such as health, spiritual, family, work, finance and leisure. See what you come up with, it is fun to do and a great sense of accomplishment when you can tick some of them off.

But now, its time for a coffee!

“...the greatest miracle for me was getting started.”
—V.S. Naipul

2008-08-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

“Oh, the Places You'll Go!”---Dr. Seuss

This is such a great passage from one of Dr Seuss’s children’s poems. It really tells us, that what we decide to do is really up to us. We get to make the decision; do we decide to move forward or to play it safe and stay where we are? There is a lot of power in choice. There are also consequences in staying safe! When we decide to make a move, whatever it may be, whether in our work, relationship, where we choose to live, we are giving up a secure place of what we know. We are making a conscience shift to a place of possibly no power, of the unknown, even though (through past experience) we know that it is usually only for a short time. Eventually the fear we hold becomes familiar territory and as it fades away we take new ownership. So decide to be brave and move forward, take the first step. Make yourself proud and as one clever marketer likes to say – Just Do It!

You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way! -Dr. Seuss

One door closes

2008-07-18T17:56:00.000-07:00

This week has been a turning point for me. I have handed in my resignation to my employer and after months of looking forward to doing this, when the time finally came and the conversation was complete I felt quite flat and even slightly teary!
There is a whole new adventure waiting for me in my coaching career and I am certainly looking forward to devoting more time to creating my new business and finishing my training.
As with many areas of ones live, there are different emotions with closing one door and walking through to the next. Just like with some friendships and even marriages, they can come and go, but the memories are forever there to think back on and cherish all the happy times.
Being at a point in life where we grow out of relationships and careers, does not lesson the commitment that was there at the time. It is a natural progression, to grow and change and eventually there comes a time to move on.
So as I am sad to finish working with people who I have spent much time with over the years, I am very satisfied that I have made the commitment to myself to allow myself to grow and develop. I have taken one more step into the future and know I will enjoy what unfolds. I have already made that decision, that it is up to me and I will have loved every minute even the challenging ones. For to look back in years to come and be saddened by not trying something new, would be so much harder to live with than the fear I may have of taking that step forward.

Celebrate

2008-06-26T20:09:00.000-07:00

Celebration is something that most of us do not do often enough. Certainly the big things in life do get acknowledged, like weddings, birthdays, graduations and the like, but the little daily things seem to slip under the radar. There are so many things in our life that can call for celebration, or even simple acknowledgment.
We can celebrate the fact that we live where we live. Our family and friends, a smile or kind world from a stranger, having food in the cupboard and a roof over our head, even the air that we breathe. It all becomes then a question of attitude. To live with an attitude of gratitude and to be mindful daily could be a very insightful exercise.
What would happen if you were asked to live one whole week in a constant state of celebration? Would that be so much of a challenge that you would not be even considered it, or could it be a fun challenge? Would you be able to turn every situation, into a positive experience? To let off some internal fireworks and to acknowledge yourself, to change your perspective to gratitude could be very difficult for many people, but well worth the experience. I feel that the week could end up by being a positive and much happier experience to you and ones around you.
Or on the other hand do we have an attitude of entitlement? Has our environment, relentless commercialism and the fast pace of our world given us the false sense of expectation that we are owed?
Lets not take others, our environment or our life for granted. Celebrate (whether out loud or just to yourself) and be grateful, we are truly blessed.

The greatest gift we can give ....

2008-06-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

The greatest gift we can give to a person in pain is to hold in our own minds the thought that there is a light beyond this darkness. What goes on externally is only the tip of the iceberg in any situation. The lessons, the real changes, the opportunities to grow--these are things the body's eyes can't see. They remain beneath the spiritual water line, but they are there. And they represent a much more vast picture of the soul's journey than what we can see from the perspective of our physical senses. Growth is not always about getting what we think we want. Always, it's about becoming the men and women we have the potential to be. Loving, pure, honest, clear.

—Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Different but same!

2008-06-14T23:40:00.000-07:00

"The world is to big for us. Too much going on. Too many crimes, and too much violence and excitement. Try as you will you get behind in the race. It's an incessant strain to keep pace and still you lose ground. Science empties its discoveries on you so fast that you stagger beneath them in hopeless bewilderment. Everything is high pressure. Human nature can't endure much more."

Atlantic Journal
16 June 1833

I found this piece to be amazing, it could be an article of today. Through the generations, people have had, do have and will have so many of the same issues. We are not so different at all from past generations when you really think about it, humans all have the same needs and wants to be satisfied.

Commitment versus trying

2008-06-04T17:47:00.000-07:00

Last week, I made a conscious decision to commit to some of those things that never seen to get done. All those little things we talk about doing and know they need to be attended to and we will eventually get around to doing. We all know (I hope I’m not the only one here) what that’s like.

So instead of trying to make time, I decided that the time had come to commit and just do it. Time to stop making excuses and start crossing some of these “need to’s” off my list.

I have, with a little help, set up my own skype address just for me! Though quite small in the big picture I know, it is quite a large step for me into the wondrous world of technology!

It is such a good feeling to have this done. It really didn’t take too much time or effort either and that makes me wonder why I kept putting it off?

Commitment versus trying can be a very powerful statement. It can take us out of the void zone and into the glad I’ve done it zone. I really do agree with someone I heard say that the word “Trying” sounds very whinny! Doing is a much more positive action to use.

Do, doing, done – don’t you love it and it feels so good.

Self Help

2008-05-29T15:56:00.000-07:00

I can’t help but feel amused at the number of times lately that I have found myself standing and searching for a book that is recommended reading, and it is in the “Self Help” section of the bookstore. I have fun seeing myself in others eyes as having been just dumped, not coping – a scene straight out of 'Bridget Jone's Diary'. Small things can make me smile :o) It is interesting how we view ourselves isn’t it? Often, it is the opposite as to how others really see us.

So from all my readings, listening and learning, a common thread weaves through my life. An awareness that I became conscious of a few years ago, after reading another book! That is Gratitude. I have read that gratitude; love and appreciation are the highest forms of vibrations and when you are having these thoughts, there is no room for the negative feelings. As more of your feelings, thoughts and words become positive you start attracting more of the same feelings thoughts and words. Same attracts same.

I have used a gratitude journal, one that I would write 5 things into which I was grateful for that day. I haven’t used it for a while, but I still take the time and run these thoughts through my mind before I go to sleep each night.

Last nights list was; giving thanks for the beautiful sunny day we had after such a cold start in the morning. I was grateful for having a cassette player in my car, so that I could listen to something undisturbed whilst driving. I was grateful for my son who came up to my office for a visit and a wonderful hug. I gave thanks for finding a few hours to work on my coarse work, which is rare to find. I was so grateful for my wonderful warm bed at the end of a long day and gave thanks for so many things that I have and hope never to take them for granted.

Self help is just what it says, to help self - thats you! Be aware of all the great qualities you have, take some time to list them down. See in yourself what others see and take control of you. Find things to be grateful for each and every day. Even after a horrible, taxing, flu ridden day, look for a bright moment. Someone who was being kind to you or another person, putting on your slippers at the end of a long day, or just knowing that the day is over and the sun will come up again in the morning to begin another wonderful day.

“To change the world, you must change yourself first. To help the world, you must help yourself first. To understand the world, you must understand your self first.” Annette Noontil

Time for Action

2008-05-23T23:19:00.000-07:00

I tend to be a procrastinator. I know that I should be doing something and usually do get around to doing it sooner or later. I also know that I am not alone!

I decided this week, to give myself a challenge and put into action something that I have been delaying or putting off. So, me being me, I chose a safe and easy task to begin with. “Clearing the clutter.” This is one thing that really does get me down, living in clutter. So starting with the pantry, whilst cooking dinner, shelf by shelf every item was removed, area cleaned and things neatly returned. I am happy to share with you that all the shelves are looking fabulous. I now know what was living way back in the dark and more than one item have moved on to land fill (sorry about that). Wow, I do feel so much better when I open that pantry door. It is an achievement, though granted a small one. Next on my de-clutter list is the spare bedroom where all the children’s clothes, books and toys are biding their time. Mind you the children are no longer children, so this is a job that is well overdue.

As I work through my list and change my procrastinating habits, it is amazing how good it feels. My next big move is with my coaching and commencing my trial sessions. I have wonderful volunteers’ and am working on my trail session structure, which is just about complete. It will feel very rewarding to then tick off having done several of these sessions.

The word “should” needs to exit my vocabulary and be replaced with the word “will”. I don’t want to be doing what others want me to do, hence what I feel I “should” be doing. It is time to take charge and do the things I want to do and will do.

So here is a challenge for you. What exists in your life right now that you have been delaying? Can you put it into action this week? Start small, baby steps. The sense of accomplishment will be well worth the doing.

Nurturing

2008-05-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

What do you think of when you hear the word Nurturing? Do you think as a parent and nurturing children & family, or tending a garden, perhaps cooking healthy homely meals comes to mind or is it nurturing yourself

The dictionary says: nurture 1 : to supply with nourishment 2 : educate 3 : to further the development of . Dates back to the 15^th Century – so it’s been around for a long time.

I have been very fortunate to have attended a wonderful retreat and enjoy five whole days of nurturing mind, body and spirit with my wonderful husband. Here is the link to where I can recommend some wonderful pampering. http://www.gaiaretreat.com.au/

Time out is so important. I heard a great analogy yesterday that I would like to share “We can become very much like a computer with too many windows open, eventually something has to crash.” So as you would log off and shut down your computer to allow it to reboot, you need to also do the same for yourself.

This week also after having my blissful week away, I had news of two beautiful nieces of mine having been harmed, by no fault of their own. One niece, an air born germ, which has caused a terrible illness and possible long-term damage which she, may have to live with. Another person, using drugs and attempting to harm a beautiful young girl, caused the second incident. Hearing these events have made me stop and really appreciate how special our children are and how we, as parents, family and friends will never stop wanting to nurture and protect them. Such a traumatic experience in such young people we want to protect from. The trauma felt from these events ripples through from victim to parent to other family members to friends. They both could have been so very much worse than they were, so we are extremely grateful for that

Take time out to appreciate what we have, nourish children, family, friends and self without forgetting our mother earth.

Take Action

2008-05-01T15:58:00.000-07:00

It is easy to sit and let things happen, go with the flow so to speak. Doing this is fine if we are happy to stagnate and live a safe, sometimes non-eventful life! We also risk not growing as a person, experiencing new things and places, or even just having fun. Or we can decide to take some action, do something, give ourselves an objective, and go for it. What can stop us from taking action can be fear of failure, but is fear of not trying a worse option?

Give yourself an objective, to try or do something new and foreign to you, something out of your comfort zone. Even something you have been putting off. Turn it into a game, and have some fun with it. Reward yourself along the way with small treats as a self-acknowledgement when you have accomplished all or even part of your objective.

If this is too hard to get started on, look at the strengths you already have and expand on them. This is something that can be fun to do and you will feel enthused because it is easy and familiar to you. Being enthused can give you the confidence to then try something that you have been putting of, because it’s not so enjoyable.

Working on your strengths can be good for the soul. How often do you take your strengths for granted and not acknowledge them. List your strengths, start with one area of your life at a time ~ you will be amazed at just how many you have. Write down 20, then another 20 and then more again, then move onto another area of your life, aim for 100 strengths in each area. Take your time, do it over months if you need to. This can now become a list you revisit, add too and remind yourself that yeah, wow look at all these things that I am great at. What you may consider to be small strengths may just be the opposite of someone else.

Just have fun, take some action, and enjoy what happens.

Moments are precious

2008-04-26T23:29:00.000-07:00

I have been fortunate enough to come from a large family. From the large family have come many nieces and nephews, including my own great kids. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to able to take interest in all their many varied life paths that they have chosen. Most have travelled widely, some living overseas and others having done or planning on, travelling overseas with so much confidence. They have had partners come in and out of their lives. They have all accomplished great things in their personal life, from music to sport, to comedy, to art, to study to mate ships. I see successes on many levels.

I have seen incredible compassion emerge and am constantly impressed and proud of the huge humanitarian thread that runs through our family. Being able to have all these great young people stay with me when they visit Melbourne is an absolute pleasure.

I feel that the youth of today have come to teach us something, not just computer skills and modern day tasks, which I am badly lacking knowledge of, but their outlook on life. The world is a much faster, more competitive, more dangerous environment and environmentally damaged world than what we knew. Mainly they have a laidback approach and pretty good coping skills. If they can be confident and not easily led by the temptation of excessive alcohol, gambling or drugs, there is no stopping this generation in achieving what they set out to do. The world is their oyster.

So if there are young ones out that may not be coping so well, take time to sit and listen to their stories. Try not to be in a rush to get back to work and don’t worry if you need to repeat yourself once or twice. Giving time and patience is often what you get back. Grab every moment you can, ‘cause every moment is precious.

How do you see that?

2008-04-19T01:55:00.000-07:00

We do live in a wonderful world, sometimes we just need to look past the day to day annoyances to allow us to view to its fullest. If we can see things through others eyes, or change the way we view things, such as turning an irritation into a fascination, we would become more relaxed, accepting and happier with our world.

There is an old saying that goes, “walk in someone’s shoes before you judge them”. So maybe when someone has a very annoying habit which really gets under your skin, think instead, wow, how can that person keep up that behaviour for so long and not realise they are doing it, how interesting? Or the neighbour’s dog which constantly barks, driving us all to distraction ~ how fascinating that it has such stamina and doesn’t loose its voice, it can even have an amusing side, if you choose to see it! It’s entirely up to you.

How we view things can have so much effect on how we treat others and live our own lives. In other words, what is your perception? Do you find yourself quickly judging, arguing a point that someone has made, not really listening to what is being said, being narrow minded? Learn to listen to the whole argument; everyone has the right to voice his or her opinion. And remember that your way is not the only way.

New Chapter Please

2008-04-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

I always thought that when my kids where off my hands, so to speak, that is when they finished school and no longer needing to be driven here and there, that I would have so much free time for me.

That could be so true, but I think I am scared of having too much free time! Sounds like it could get very dull after a while. Turning brain dead is not a very good option when we have so much life to live. What is there for me to do? My life, as many thousands of other women, was placed on hold, to become a mother and housewife, so it is time now to get my life back. A new lease on life, where there are people to meet, friends to make, places to visit, stories to share with my partner and memories to make. Memories to revisit one day and re-live the things I did do ~ not regret what I wish I had of done.

I have decided to use my “free time” to study and do something for me. So I have commenced my journey as a Life Coach whilst still working part-time and being housewife and wearing several other hats ~ as women do! Wow, what a balancing act we need to perform. But I am an example that it is achievable. I feel that the key though is to find and keep the balance. Find time each day for family & friends, spirit, health, work, finance, community. If we can allocate time daily to these areas, we are doing well.

When was the last time you took time for yourself? Leave the house and go for a long walk or swim. Without any time restraints. What was something you did as a child that you loved so much and haven’t done for years? Such as drawing or painting, playing an instrument, singing in the choir, kicking the football, riding your bike? Is there room in your diary to take 30 – 60 minutes each week to do one of those long forgotten things? Do it and see how you feel afterwards. The housework and bookwork will still be there I’m betting!

So live while you have life to live, give while you have love to give.

Star Fish Story

2008-04-05T00:43:00.000-07:00

This is a story I first heard at a luncheon I attended for National Women's Day. It touched me with its kindness and show of determination. By taking baby steps we can make a difference and it is very relevant to me becoming a Life Coach. If I can make a difference, to even just one person, then I have succeeded.

Once a man was walking along a beach. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. Off in the distance he could see a person going back and forth between the surf's edge and and the beach. Back and forth this person went. As the man approached he could see that there were hundreds of starfish stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.
The man was stuck by the the apparent futility of the task. There were far too many starfish. Many of them were sure to perish. As he approached the person continued the task of picking up starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.
As he came up to the person he said, "You must be crazy. There are thousands of miles of beach covered with starfish. You can't possibly make a difference." The person looked at the man. He then stooped down and pick up one more starfish and threw it back into the ocean. He turned back to the man and said, "It sure made a difference to that one!"

Hello and Welcome

2008-04-04T19:06:00.000-07:00

Hello my name is Julie, I am a Life Coach who has decided to spread my wings to the Internet. This page is for people to browse and find focus or add there wisdom to. I have added a picture of a lovely sea turtle as they are amazing and swim many miles to achieve their life goals. I think there are many examples all around as to how we can become better at following the path our hearts desire. So hello and Welcome.