First Stage of Transition

Change is a constant, and when we realize that is it inevitable, many emotions begin to emerge. Some of these feelings, which are all very natural, can be numbness, fear, anxiety, excitement, apprehension, grief, anger, feeling trapped, relief, uncertainty.

Whether the transition you are experiencing is something you are wanting such as a marriage, new baby, relocation or new job – or one that has been thrust upon you, you may feel overwhelmed or even shocked, unable to see the future clearly. Be aware that this can be a period where you do not think clearly and is best not be make decisions with haste. Also what you are experiencing is very natural and you are not alone.

This is the first stage of transition; it can be called “Discomfort”, “Losing Focus” even “Disbelief or Denial”. It is a good idea to stick with routines that you know work, try not to over commit and take time out for yourself when you need to. It is not the time to add other changes to your life such as weight loss or volunteering for charity work. Take time for yourself and include the things you love to do and find ways to nurture yourself, such as yoga, reading, having fresh flowers around you, listening to music, drinking favorite teas, hitting a golf ball, being with friends, being in nature.

Every transition begins with an ending, and as with all endings you need time to let go of the past.

Coaching questions;

What scares you most about this change?

What does the next level look like?

Clutter

I tend to be a procrastinator. I also know that I am not alone!

I decided this week, to give myself a challenge and put into action something that I have been delaying - Clearing Clutter - one thing that really does get me down, living in clutter – potential chaos even!

When we talk about de-cluttering, people usually start thinking about the most obvious places in need, their desk and work area, the kitchen or wardrobe. There are many areas in our lives which need to be de-cluttered that are not so obvious such as areas in the garden or garage, activities which no longer serve us, newsletters we subscribe to, files on our computer, to-do lists and even people!

So whether it is business or private, Andrew Mellen suggests the following Ground Rules;

1. Everything you own should have value, either because it’s functional or beautiful or you just love it

2. Every item needs a place where it “lives.”

3. Focus on one thing at a time.

As I work through my list one area at a time and change my procrastinating habit, it is amazing how good it feels. I can use the above mentioned grounds rules as a guide to allow a wonderful new space and sense of calmness to emerge, not to mention a great feeling of achievement and joy.

Very important areas we may not think of to de-clutter are our thoughts, for they can cause great anxiety and stress. The secret here is to ask the question “what can and can’t you change?” Maybe the only thing you can change about certain situations is your attitude - for all the worrying we do, things we don’t like still happen.

Ask yourself what overwhelms you? Figure out what you can do to avoid situations like that or keep them from escalating. Have a plan in place for when these situations arise so you are better armed to cope with them.

So here is a challenge for you.

What area of your life have you wanted to de-clutter? Can you put it into action this week? The sense of accomplishment will be well worth the doing.