We’ve all heard someone say and even said it ourselves “You’re just too nice.”
Think about that statement for a moment. Is that really true? Are you so nice that you allow people to walk over you and or your business?
Often being “too nice” is just taking the easy way out…..…steering clear of confrontation, not wanting to rock the boat! Is this “Too Nice” employer really doing the best thing – the nice thing for their staff, business and themselves? Or are they just deferring the inevitable disciplinary or under-performing warning that someone eventually needs to hear?
What would happen if an employer, parent, teacher, friend took the “too nice” option away and dealt with the issues as they arose? It would allow each party to confer and take appropriate action then and there. Being able to clear the air and allow for open communication. Perhaps there are underlying reasons that the employer is underperforming and a quick and regular check-in could save any upset, disciplinary action or even dismissal occurring. Could waiting until the shit hits the fan so to speak, be unfair to the receiver, especially if actions could have been taken earlier to prevent it getting to that stage.
Some benefits of not being too soft could be as rewarding as uncovering skills and hidden talents, not allowing bad habits and feelings to fester and spread, uncovering concerns and problems that can actually benefit the organization if brought into the open. When one is required to be made accountable for actions and expected to step-up, the flow on effect is personal pride and self worth, learning and using new skills, and possibly a stronger bottom line for the organization, hopeful flowing onto the employee.
If you are really nice, giving someone fair and honest feedback early and as required is the nice thing to do, not only for your employee but for your own stress levels and others around you. Can one not be strong, fair and nice?
Coaching Question:
o Have you found yourself taking the” too nice” option in the past to escape confrontation?
o What are you not doing in your life because you are being too nice?
o What are 2 things you are willing to stop putting up with this month?
Resource Reading:
Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott
Quote:
"There is no strength without challenge, adversity, resistance and often pain. Strength comes from our ability to stand up, face resistance and walk through it." Oprah
